You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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