i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
