if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
