You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
