Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
