i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
