We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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