My brain says no but my pants say off.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
this boner is exhausting
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
