If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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