I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
