can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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