My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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