Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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