I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish you could order shots online.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
