Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
