how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
