If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
what day is it and did you see me today?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
