I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
