All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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