Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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