Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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