He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Im part way to drunk.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.