I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
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do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
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I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends