I would go down on you faster than GM stock
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.