you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.