go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
