sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
