I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
