Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
