They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
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