What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
