Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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