Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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