do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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