Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
