if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
