Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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