Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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