can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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