My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize