WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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