I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
