no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
