i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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