I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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