You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Screwed.edu
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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