How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
