so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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