Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
