well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
