why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
