He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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