I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.