I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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