your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
