and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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