You're a womanizer and a bitch.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
