They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
