my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
