you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
