All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
