Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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