Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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