So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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