So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
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Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
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Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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